Who is the victim?

I am a South African. But I no longer live in South Africa. I did so until 2006, when I left to work in the Middle East. I grew up in apartheid SA, for a long time knowing only what I was told. But that is another story for another day. Then I became aware of the horrific reality of apartheid, and changed fundamentally who I was and how I viewed the world... also, another story for another day. I spent 20 years after that working against apartheid, not as a political activist, but as a Christian, devoted to dignity and love.

Now, many years on, on various social networks, I have friends who live in SA, and who do not live in SA. And the wars that rage on those social networks between the two factions are deeply disturbing. There are those who have left SA, who are embittered and enraged at the past and can do nothing but pour scorn and “Thank *** we left” over every discussion. They often generalise and swear violently – even some of the ladies! There are those who remain, who are self confessed prisoners inside their own fear, unable to leave for whatever reason, but deeply wishing they could. They don’t comment much.

There are those who have stayed voluntarily, believing that somehow they can make a difference to the tide of anarchy that sweeps the land, through either an economic contribution, a tireless effort for children or the poor or whatever (these are the heroes). And then there are those who stay because they are South African, and by Hell or High Water, nobody is pushing them out of the land of their birth.

Everybody has strong opinions, as South Africans do, and everybody believes they are right. Some have experienced horrific crime, the rape and murder of loved ones, senseless violence at the hands of muggers and road rage etc. To those my heart goes out and I would never question their decision to stay or go. Grace to you as you build and rebuild your lives... may healing come.

Some others though, interest me. Usually it is the “Nobody is pushing me out” clan, whose comments sometimes confuse me. Without fail, in my experience, they are of the “eye for an eye” brigade, believing in violence to combat violence. They own weapons, usually many of them, and they teach their children to shoot accurately and decisively. Crime is an ever-present reality, and their Plan of Action is simple... to quote a colourful character from the accused box in my days as a State Prosecutor – Nay, my Worship, it was self defense - I just hit him back first.”

It is this willing embrace of anticipatory retribution that makes me ask, who exactly are the victims here? Is it the unfortunate burglar, or would be burglar, who comes up face to face with the steady aim of a 12 year old holding his very own 9mm Glock with a barrel inscribed with the words “Smile.. wait for the flash”... or is it maybe the little 12 year old, readied by his parents through countless drills at the shooting range, for the act of murder - yes, in self defence, but murder nonetheless - in an attempt to make him and his family “not a victim”.

He may not be a victim of an act of crime... but I would suggest he might a victim nonetheless.

Let me re-iterate, I left to work in the Middle East, and when I left the Middle East after the GFC of November 2008, I settled outside of SA because my wife and children are not SA citizens. I did not leave because of crime, although I had been hijacked 4 times, been shot at a few more times, and as a State Prosecutor had seen the worst of the worst of SA society, mostly being convicted, sadly sometimes not...

Where I live now, I am blessed and grateful for a society where a woman can safely walk home from work at night, where a child can ride a bike home from school safely. Where guns are owned, yes, but for hunting, and are used extremely rarely in crime. Where policemen do not carry weapons, and their lives are not at risk. In this society, which is the NORM, not the exception, I do not have to run red lights at night to avoid hijacking, or as a woman, drive with my purse out of sight because my car window might be smashed. Did I leave SA because of violence and crime? NO. But can I see the benefits for a family and a child, of being in a society not warped by crime and violence, where the capacity to kill another human being is not regarded as an asset?

Yes I can. The difference between a society ruled and dominated by post traumatic stress, and one governed largely by civil obedience is absolutely huge. They are incomparable. Scary thing was, I used to think SA society was normal. It is not. In truth it is sick to the core. But I love the beauty of the land and its people, by far the majority of whom are gentle, peace loving people, betrayed by a government more interested in lining its own pockets and staying in power, than in actually dealing with societies many real issues.

And I love and appreciate the people who choose to stay there to bring life to its potential.

Just thinking though... who are the actual victims of crime, and of a society that is numbed to violence and barbarism – only those directly experiencing a criminal act? Or maybe also those who decide to survive/defeat/conquer/overcome the dangers of living in SA and choose to “not become a victim” by learning to kill in self defence –and teaching their children to do it?

I don’t know what is right – everybody must decide for themselves, but I do think the question deserves an honest answer.