The sometimes pain of transition

So... a fair bit has been running through my mind recently about churches and handovers and transitions and such... there is not terribly much about handovers and transitions in scripture, so there isn’t really a easy to find example to follow of “how”. I think that has been the experience of a group of church planters and leaders that I know of – the dynamics and challenges of “transitioning” a church between leaders is a complex and uncharted area. Any degree of confidence in how to do it, is easily disassembled by real life challenges and intricacies of emotion, loyalty, assumptions and good intentions.

Why am I writing this? I have been exposed to some dynamics of transition recently, and have watched some dearly loved and humble people struggle. And it has made me think about some stuff.

The language of church is family. We talk of fathers, sons, mothers and daughters. We talk of raising up sons and daughters. We talk of fathering, mentoring, shepherding and servant-leadership. We talk of discipling, teaching, imparting, and sharing. We build a community around vulnerability, trust and caring. Volunteering and pitching in, building together, co-labouring and “standing alongside”.

So how come, when a leadership change happens, for whatever reason, we do not seem to continue those values? So many times I have been part of, and occasionally watched from afar, as a leader has stepped down, or out, and a new leader has come in. I guess this relates to where a leader does not actually head off into the distant sunset, but stays nearby to the community they once led, which has happened enough for it to be a reasonable prospect, and not just an anomaly. Personally I have been part of 6 leadership transitions, and seen a few more from varying distances, and at least 3 have happened where the departing leader has remained local to his old flock...

Almost without fail, the departing leader and his wife and children has been cut off from friends and family. What other friends does a leader have but within the community they have been part of building? Often, none or perhaps those friends might have been the leaders of other churches, usually far away. Not ideal for close friendships, at all. Even the local fellowship of pastors is gone now, there is a new pastor in town occupying the seat the old pastor used to occupy, and the loyalties are hazy – personal, or positional? All very confusing...

But not for the old pastor – there it is stark and desolate. And very black and white.

We say they are family – that is, until they leave and then, suddenly, they are not family. If they are leaving, for whatever reason, even for GOOD reason, then something fundamental changes and they are no longer family, no longer the hero with a heart for sacrifice and for the good of others...

The season of transition means that they are asked to “give space”. But, from the outside, it looks as if they are treated as a threat to the new leader, a danger to his young leadership, and are asked to distance themselves from their spiritual friends and family for an undetermined time. (It looks like this from the inside too, apparently)

Since when did a father suddenly become dangerous enough to ostracise? Since when did his heart for community, for fathering, caring and pastoring suddenly turn to “evil” so that he has to be kept away from friends and family? Since when? When does a father, on becoming a grandfather, get cut off from his family in case he steps on the new fathers toes? When does a partner, a co-labourer, suddenly become pariah?

I cannot grasp or understand the pain we cause to them in the name of “a Godly transition” but I can safely say it is an astonishing level of pain, a great hurt. And they are asked to carry this pain maturely and silently while the community they love – and that loves them – is refocused away from them, and many times prevented or “strongly encouraged” to move on and be “take hold of Gods new season” for the community. Which means not phoning your friends and popping round with dinner or for coffee or such...

I can imagine, perhaps, Paul writing to such a community... apologies for the  “It is reported to me that there are some among you who have shunned your fathers, forced them out of fellowship and left them along in a world of wolves, so that you can tend to your own comfort! How can this be?”

Indeed. How can this be?

It is not good enough to only embrace a man as father when he is far away. Close enough to be given a guest spot in the pulpit when he visits but far enough away not to cause ripples. Where honouring him for the founding work he did can be genuine but also hollow because it can just be words.

A father close at hand is a blessing, a gift from God and a privilege. It can be the great joy of a fathers heart to see the community he founded go on to greater things and rise to new heights. Why do we celebrate this with biological families but recoil in fear in the case of spiritual families?

Maybe because when a "son in the house" becomes the "father in the house" it is as natural as breathing, as inevitable as sunrise and sunset. But when a leader comes in from outside it is like a CEO coming in and sweeping clean to make his mark...

 

Which is biblical? The father or the CEO?  

 

Just thinking...